I have five beautiful daughters. Each is their own type of beautiful; no two really alike, though there are similarities among them. None of them realize just how much they mean to me, individually, or collectively. All of them are strong women, each handling difficult situations in their own way, and facing challenges and obstacles with determination and perseverance. The learning curves are steep for all of them, as the examples they had to model themselves on weren’t very good (Yes, I’m talking about myself and their fathers). Though each had their own advantages as well, whether they recognize them, or not.
I had my own challenges and obstacles to overcome. I’m still dealing with the fall out from a chaotic child hood, where, yes, sometimes bad things happened, but there was good in it, as well. The tough part is sorting out the chaff from the grain. Unfortunately, my daughters were born in the middle of that sorting process. After many years, I finally learned to let go of anger at my parents for not being perfect, but not before my daughters were already grown. I realized, at long last, that each of my parents did as well as they were able, with what they understood. Sometimes that grieves me, but I accept that they are who they are. I hope, that someday my daughters can do the same for me.
Our individual levels of what we understand to be good, vary widely. The material we are made of, how we respond to our various stimuli, sets the boundaries that we work within, with the gifts we are given upon entrance to this world, and the experiences we collect traveling through it. I hope I live up to my best potential; although, sometimes I fear that sloth will be the finish of my dreams. Or maybe it’s my frequent low energy levels that keep me from accomplishing my goals, though I doubt it.
Some of my goals don’t require a lot of energy, they just need me to get started on them. Once I begin a painting, there is usually no problem finishing it. I just have trouble getting started on stretching a new canvas, and applying the first dab of paint to it. Being in school again, helps me with some of that. Where there is a requirement, I tend to follow through. I just need to get myself to believe I have a requirement to get my own ideas onto canvas, or translated into real pieces, so all those things I want to show my daughters, and the world, will exist in a dimensional reality, and not just in my head.
I hope that my daughters find it easier to get started on their dreams, and aren’t afraid to find out how they’ll turn out. I hope each of my daughters have their own dreams, and hopes. Ultimately, I dream we will all get to know each other better, and be able to appreciate the grace that is in each other.
© Ellen M Lattz and emariaenterprises, llc 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author, Ellen M. Lattz, and/or blog owner, is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ellen M. Lattz, and emariaenterprises with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.